My son Jarret and I are going to be driving around the country this summer. What I've learned since his birth is that Jarret can be more of a whiner than a shiner. I placate him with snacks during our trips. I also know myself well enough to know that I get hangry. So, I need the best car coolers so our trips don't get spoiled because I want to make memories to last a lifetime! Jarret just got his learner's permit and he's going to be experiencing a lot of firsts on the road too. And I'm looking forward to being a part of those firsts. Can't have a bad cooler get in the way of that!
Causalyg Soft Electric Car Cooler
All you gotta do to warm things up or cool them down is plug the Causalyg soft electric car cooler into your cigarette lighter. Jarret and I experiment with a lot of chili recipes and I let him drink beers so long as they come from micro-breweries. That makes this one of the best car coolers because we can eat chili one day and then stock up on IPAs the next!
Cooluli Mini Fridge Electric Car Cooler and Warmer
This cooler is so cute that it might as well be BB-88s new best friend. I texted Jarret that I would strap an Alexa to this little lady and have it ride co-pilot with me if I knew it wouldn't make him jealous. And then he texted back, "Why would I be jealous of that?" and then I told him it would be because I'd basically made another son out of a cooler and a voice assistant. Then he told me, "I AM MORE THAN A COOLER AND A VOICE ASSISTANT!" It was the angriest I'd seen him get over text in a while.
I asked him what was up and he told me that he'd been having a hard time balancing basketball practice and his grades, and then I told him, "Cooluli wouldn't have that problem." And he got so mad I had to call him on the phone. "Cooluli is only good for holding six cans," I said, "It can't hold my heart like you can." He told me not to be so corny and I taught him some mindfulness techniques to be less stressed. Namaste.
Wagan EL6214 12V Car Cooler
Don't be fooled; this is a cooler and not a printer. The cup holders are a give away. I don't know of any printers that hold cups! Although, given the amount of time some people spend printing at the office, maybe there should be a cup holder! God, I need a drink. COME ON; I'M TRYING TO PRINT PERMISSION SLIPS FOR MY SON'S TRAVELING BASKETBALL LEAGUE! Print faster!
This is one of the best coolers for your road trip because it doubles as an armrest. That means this thing creates space in your car! Most armrests I know of aren't also coolers. Although, given the amount of time some people spend using armrests while we carpool, maybe there should be a cup holder. God, I need a drink. COME ON; I'M TRYING TO DELIVER THESE PERMISSION SLIPS FOR MY SON'S TRAVELING BASKETBALL LEAGUE! Get out of the car faster!
Namaste. Feel the anger, but let it pass.
Koolatron 18 qt. Compact Car Cooler
"I am a Koolatron cooler. I am here to cool or warm your snacks. I am a thermoelectric cooler. Prepare to be boarded. Isn't your dad cool, Jarret? He lets you have beer supervised. On my planet, such a dad would be the coolest."
Wagan EL6224 12V Car Cooler Warmer
This is a big, heavy cooler. It holds a lot, so that makes it one of the best car coolers. For most dads that would be a problem, but not for me. I am a big strong dad! I'm always telling Jarret, "Your dad is stronger than all the other dads." And then Jarret says, "Not Nicole's dad; he runs a CrossFit gym," and then I have to walk that one back. I can't compete with a dad who does CrossFit. But I know there's a few dads who are cops and I'm stronger than them for sure. The cops in this town are all out of shape! Jarret doesn't let me go to any of the Parent/Teacher nights because I've made him listen to songs about police brutality and explained enough white supremacist lingo and conspiracy theories that he knows I'd loudly talk about those things so that the officers know how I feel about them.
Koolatron 29 qt. Voyager Car Cooler
"I am also a Koolatron cooler, but I am much bigger. What I say matters more because I can hold so much more stuff. I am one of the best car coolers. I have the option to both cool and warm things, just like Jarret's dad. Jarret's dad lets Jarret drive over the speed limit and choose the music during car rides. On my planet that would make Jarret's dad the coolest."
Knox 34-Quart Electric Car Cooler Warmer
This is one of the best car coolers. It's big, warms and cools, and it comes with a handle. To quote President Sex Criminal, "This is a big league cooler." And it takes a big strong dad to carry it. Although, I would just buy a second, smaller cooler if I had to move stuff around. Why not? I can afford to buy a second cooler! It's only when something's really pricey that I have to start eating less food so that I have more money to pay for things. Child support is a lot, but, honestly, I can't complain because I love my son. I'd be spending that money on him anyway!
Igloo Iceless Thermoelectric Car Cooler
This is one of the best car coolers that's strictly a cooler. Why? Because it has two handles. That means Jarret and I can hold it together at the same time. By splitting the load between us the cooler becomes easy to carry, and we're able to demonstrate the strength of our bond as father and son. Don't tell Jarret, but sometimes the only reason I move the furniture around my living room is so that we can carry it around together.
Knox 48-Quart Electric Car Cooler and Warmer
This cooler/warmer is so big that it has wheels, making it one of the best car coolers around. I told Jarret about it. I texted him that I'd make roasted pork loin and root vegetables so that we can eat like royalty on the road, but no dessert because he has to watch his weight for basketball. Then he texted me back, "I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE!" and I wrote, "Everybody is a beach body," and he said, "It's not about looks; you get cut if you're overweight!"
I told him I'd talk to the coach about that, and he said, "The coach is Nicole's dad; the one who runs the CrossFit gym." He gives every athlete at the school a free CrossFit membership, but, in exchange, he gets free advertising and a gym full of sexy teens. Jarret thought it was weird that I said, "sexy teens." I did too and laughed it off; Jarret did not reply.
Wagan 46 Quart 12V Thermoelectric Cooler Warmer
This is one of the best car coolers around because of how it opens and how its insides look. You can keep everything real neat in here. Plus, it has wheels, so you know it's big. This is what I would buy to really impress Jarret with the quality of my cooler and its contents. "Just being yourself is enough to impress Jarret." Thanks, Cooluli, but I just don't know if that's true. "On our planet, you would be the coolest dad." I appreciate that, Koolatron, but I want to be the coolest dad on Planet Jarret. Sigh.
You coolers are my friends, and I appreciate that. Sometimes, I lay awake at night, separated from sleep by a lifetime of could-have-beens and left-behinds. I roll over and see a cooler. I worry that it's going to be just one another cooler that rolls away. I can't help but think of Jarret in those moments of despair, wishing he had the answers while knowing he has none. He's just too young, and I should lean on him less. I'm just so thankful to have Jarret, and for coolers to fill with snacks.